GOSSIP: RESISTING THE IRRESISTIBLE
Proverbs 26:22 (ESV)
22 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
SAME AS ABOVE?
Proverbs 26:22 (NLT)
22 Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.
WORLD is FULL OF GOSSIP!
Facebook, Instagram, Tik-Tok – much of what is shared is gossip.
Magazines and YouTube channels devoted to it.
Reality TV
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
NOT TRUE!
Our words have the power to build up or tear down
Proverbs 18:21 (ESV)
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Gossip Definition
Gossip is the sin of bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart –
Resisting Gossip by Matthew C. Mitchell
2 Corinthians 12:20 (ESV)
20 For I fear that perhaps when I come I may find you not as I wish, and that you may find me not as you wish—that perhaps there may be quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit, and disorder.
Gossip – psithuristes (whisperer/gossip)
Slander - katalalia (καταλαλία, 2636), “evil speaking,” 1 Pet. 2:1
Slander vs. gossip – slander is not true, gossip may or may not be true.
Not necessarily a false report, but a negative report
Slander – the same, but false (but we often don’t think it is false when said or shared)
FIRST EXAMPLE IN THE BIBLE: GARDEN
Genesis 3:1–6 (ESV)
1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.
Devil means “accuser”/slanderer
Satan means “adversary”
Moses and Korah – gossip – 250 elders!
Korah was a cousin of Moses
Numbers 16:1–3 (ESV)
1 Now Korah… and Dathan and Abiram… took men. 2 And they rose up before Moses, with a number of the people of Israel, 250 chiefs of the congregation, chosen from the assembly, well-known men. 3 They assembled themselves together against Moses and against Aaron and said to them, “You have gone too far! For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the Lord is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the Lord?”
Korah – cousin of Moses, talks to 250 other leaders and persuades them that Moses is taking too much on himself. Making himself the leader - “all in the congregation are holy”
Numbers 16:4-10
4 When Moses heard it, he fell on his face, 5 and he said to Korah and all his company, “In the morning the Lord will show who is his, and who is holy, and will bring him near to him. The one whom he chooses he will bring near to him. 6 Do this: take censers, Korah and all his company; 7 put fire in them and put incense on them before the Lord tomorrow, and the man whom the Lord chooses shall be the holy one. You have gone too far, sons of Levi!” 8 And Moses said to Korah, “Hear now, you sons of Levi: 9 is it too small a thing for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the congregation of Israel, to bring you near to himself, to do service in the tabernacle of the Lord and to stand before the congregation to minister to them, 10 and that he has brought you near him, and all your brothers the sons of Levi with you? And would you seek the priesthood also?
Reveal some of the Korah’s heart – wanted to be a priest, had a job to carry the vessels of God
Proximity to things of God sometimes causes us to treat Him as common instead of HOLY!
Numbers 16:11-14
11 Therefore it is against the Lord that you and all your company have gathered together. What is Aaron that you grumble against him?” 12 And Moses sent to call Dathan and Abiram the sons of Eliab, and they said, “We will not come up. 13 Is it a small thing that you have brought us up out of a land flowing with milk and honey, to kill us in the wilderness, that you must also make yourself a prince over us? 14 Moreover, you have not brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey, nor given us inheritance of fields and vineyards. Will you put out the eyes of these men? We will not come up.”
Moses wants to talk with them, but they won’t come up.
Moses you make yourself a prince over us?
Put the eyes out? – cover over – “We see the truth”
Previous wounds from having been slaves in Egypt
Twisting the narrative against Moses (not Mo’s intent)
SKIP – next day they gather, each having a censer to offer fire to the Lord.
Numbers 16:28-35
28 And Moses said, “Hereby you shall know that the Lord has sent me to do all these works, and that it has not been of my own accord. 29 If these men die as all men die, or if they are visited by the fate of all mankind, then the Lord has not sent me. 30 But if the Lord creates something new, and the ground opens its mouth and swallows them up with all that belongs to them, and they go down alive into Sheol, then you shall know that these men have despised the Lord.” 31 And as soon as he had finished speaking all these words, the ground under them split apart. 32 And the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up, with their households and all the people who belonged to Korah and all their goods. 33 So they and all that belonged to them went down alive into Sheol, and the earth closed over them, and they perished from the midst of the assembly. 34 And all Israel who were around them fled at their cry, for they said, “Lest the earth swallow us up!” 35 And fire came out from the Lord and consumed the 250 men offering the incense.
Judgment!
But the people STILL gossip and grumble against Moses!
Numbers 16:41-50
41 But on the next day all the congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and against Aaron, saying, “You have killed the people of the Lord.” 42 And when the congregation had assembled against Moses and against Aaron, they turned toward the tent of meeting. And behold, the cloud covered it, and the glory of the Lord appeared. 43 And Moses and Aaron came to the front of the tent of meeting, 44 and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 45 “Get away from the midst of this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment.” And they fell on their faces. 46 And Moses said to Aaron, “Take your censer, and put fire on it from off the altar and lay incense on it and carry it quickly to the congregation and make atonement for them, for wrath has gone out from the Lord; the plague has begun.” 47 So Aaron took it as Moses said and ran into the midst of the assembly. And behold, the plague had already begun among the people. And he put on the incense and made atonement for the people. 48 And he stood between the dead and the living, and the plague was stopped. 49 Now those who died in the plague were 14,700, besides those who died in the affair of Korah. 50 And Aaron returned to Moses at the entrance of the tent of meeting, when the plague was stopped.
Next chapter – God demonstrates His choice of Aaron – with the rod the budded
Numbers 17:1-5
1 The Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 2 “Speak to the people of Israel, and get from them staffs, one for each fathers’ house, from all their chiefs according to their fathers’ houses, twelve staffs. Write each man’s name on his staff, 3 and write Aaron’s name on the staff of Levi. For there shall be one staff for the head of each fathers’ house. 4 Then you shall deposit them in the tent of meeting before the testimony, where I meet with you. 5 And the staff of the man whom I choose shall sprout. Thus I will make to cease from me the grumblings of the people of Israel, which they grumble against you.”
Proverbs 26:22 (ESV)
22 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into the inner parts of the body.
WHY DO WE LIKE GOSSIP? (DAINTY MORSELS)
Tastes good – we like to be in the know
Lust for power - Gives us a sense of power (knowledge is power)
I know something that you don’t (or that others don’t)
Feeds our self-righteousness (I’m better than that)
Venting/Grumbling/Revenge – sanctified jealousy, something “is not right, not fair”
“I’m just sharing my pain with you; doing life with you.”
“I’ve already tried to talk to them, but they won’t listen
Proverbs 18:17 (CSB)
17 The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.
STORY – I misjudged because I heard the first person (May have had previous experience with the other person, believe the worst instead of the best)
We like to judge
James 4:11–12 (NLT)
11 Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. 12 God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?
AMUSEMENT - Gossip – the cure for boredom (or Gossip as amusement)
2 Thessalonians 3:10–11 (ESV)
10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. 11 For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies.
2 Thessalonians 3:11 (NLT)
11 Yet we hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business.
“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
― Socrates (Eleanor Roosevelt)
Amy Carmichael policy – “never about; always to”
Talk to people, not about people
LISTENING IS WRONG!
Proverbs 17:4 (NLT)
4 Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander.
Proverbs 17:4 (CSB)
4 A wicked person listens to malicious talk; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.
THE REMEDY:
Proverbs 20:19 (CSB)
19 The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid someone with a big mouth.
1. Avoid the Gossiper
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV)
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends.
2. Believe the best in others
Love believes the best – choose to suspend judgment, give the judgment of charity (I don’t know)
Proverbs 17:9 (ESV)
9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
3. Love covers, not exposes
1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)
8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
Ephesians 4:29–32 (ESV)
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
4. Build others up
1 Peter 3:9–12 (ESV)
9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; 11 let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
Be a thermostat not a thermometer
Church – needs to have open lines of communication
People often leave a church and leave their bags (or try to leave them with others)
5. GO! Lovingly confront privately
REVEAL FAMILY COVENANT –
Matthew 18:15–17 (NLT)
15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
APPLICATION
Do I have unresolved offenses against others? Forgive and Go.
Why do I listen to gossip? What’s in me?
Have I shared negative talk about others? Repent and ask forgiveness